How to want more and want less at the same time?
Lately, I heard many money drama stories around me. Not that I don’t have my own money drama, but after hearing other’s stories, I realized I have a different drama than many people I knew. I think I am the lucky few that have been taught since I am very young to never spend more than what I have especially not for those instant gratifying wants and needs that serve very little long term benefits to my well beings.
My drama is different; I am still learning how to allow myself to splurge a little. My challenge is giving myself permission to occasionally buying something really nice for myself; I really just can’t see the value of spending the money for them. Perhaps, the fear of “running out” before I die also has kept me in check.
However, I’m truly glad for out of all the money drama out there, I got stuck with this one J I have witness the drama of what the other ways leads to. It is no fun at all; not to mention the potential devastating effect of ruining the future of a family. Does the instant gratification of getting that top of line car, fancy jewelries, expensive bottle of wines, latest gadget phone, golf clubs,… really worth the price of you and your family’s peace and happiness?
It is true that money can’t buy happiness. But for a fact, it would be impossible to lead a happy and peaceful life when there is constant pressure of debt and running out of money.
I have a friend who told me that her husband love her so much that he would only get the best car, the best jewelries, the best purses for her. Yet, I wonder is it really the most loving thing that he can do for her if the price she end up having to pay is worrying about not able to pay essential family bills as result? I would say the most loving thing a husband can do for a wife is never to put a wife in a situation of needing to worry about meeting monthly financial essentials(not for the sake of instant gratification wants and needs anyway).
Of course, this goes for a wife to a husband too. I don’t care how great a justification and reason for needing that latest hip car, neat gadgets and beautiful jewelries, if you truly love someone and love your family, and then you’d better learn to put their financial well being first before your instant gratifying needs.
Do I mean then that you can never enjoy anything good in life anymore? No, of course not! This is where I feel financial education is so important yet sorely lacking in our education system. I can never understand why our educational system would teach our kids credit before teaching them financial responsibility and effective financial management first.
For my own drama, I found T. Harv Eker’s book “The secret of the millionaire mind” quite helpful in giving me some insight and tools on how to manage my money in such a way that I can be free of my fear of running out and give myself some room to enjoy great things in life yet continue to live within my own means. The book also provides valuable exercises to help those who can’t seem to kick the “kid in the candy store” syndrome. I think it is a good starting point for those of you who want to start taking control of your own financial life.
Regardless, the resource on this topic is abundant out there. The question is: are you truly ready to start taking on the driver’s seat in your own financial health and stop letting the 3-year old in you running your day to day finance? Again, honestly, think about it, if you have to choose, what’s truly the most loving thing you can do for your love one? Give them financial stability first or give them whatever that caught your eyes now? So, stop before you run to the store to get another latest and the greatest…, ask youself this question first: Is this purchase really worth jeopardizing yours and your love one’s long term happiness and peace over? For smaller items that just end up in the closet, ask yourself: How much are these small items you bought adding up to? a down payment for a car? Is it really worth buying it now? Will your kids really still love and cherish the items they are dying for 3 days from now? a week from now? If answer is no, don’t buy it!! It’s not worth screwing up yor financial health over it.