Life without Thanksgiving
I can no longer imagine a life without Thanksgiving. It seems like this is the one day that still reminds us to be grateful, to be appreciative of what has been given to us and to encourage the spirit of sharing; no huge religious connotation; just a pure human-to-human love and appreciation. I love this holiday more than any other holiday I can think of. This is the holiday that gets my heart pumping looking forward to meeting my relatives and getting a wild feast. It reminds me to appreciate the life that I got (the whole package the good, bad and ugly), and be grateful that I am surround by people who have a lot of love for me. I have to admit that it didn’t use to be that way.
When I was in “survival” mode, I could of careless about Thanksgiving. Every time when I thought of my relatives, it reminded me of what they didn’t do for me and what wrong they have done on me. Who want to spend holiday with them anyway. I used to attend family get together out of obligation. The thought of it was painful!
So, what changed me? I guess through out my years of personal development, I finally figure out what forgiveness is all about. THAT was a hard one for me to learn. I was a stubborn one and not the fastest learner J yet when there is will there is way, 20 years later and I lost count of how many personal development courses I took later, my light bulb on this finally came on. I finally let go of my hate. Whatever the hate and grudge I hold on to, from 2 year old to 10 year old to 40 year old… I let go! I let go for my sake and not for anyone else’s sake; like a ton of bricks that I finally given myself the permission to throw away. Surprisingly, compassion flew in and forgiveness followed. All there left is the gratefulness of being alive and new awareness that people are really NOT that bad; just given them the space to be who they are and make peace with myself to give myself space to be who I am. I didn’t quite expect that at all. My focus was all about realizing how continue carrying these dead weights in my heart really started to bother me; it didn’t serve any purpose for me other than making me more tired; it hurt me more than anything. I couldn’t stand having them around anymore! So, I let go! What a surprise!