Can I really count on you?
As I was driving home, it dawns on me all of the sudden the magnitude of what a marriage vow is all about! I got that marriage vow is really an ultimate expression to the other person promising that they can count on you for the rest of your life. Yet looking at the reality, listening to my friends’ complaining about the little things that their husband repeatedly promised and didn’t do and my own frustration of dealing with incidents of broken promises but fill with justifications with my boyfriend, I can see how a otherwise great marriage or a great relationship can and do deteriorate overtime right in front of our eyes by these appearing inconsequential and innocent broken promises! Each broken promises no matter how small it appears done repeatedly, just reinforce the message that “Na, I’m kidding, you can’t really count on me, you shouldn’t count on me and how dare of you counting on me!”.
The worst part is talking to couples years later, they often speaking of falling out of love with such confusion and mystery. Yet, I see no mystery anymore. When one person finally decided they can’t and won’t count on the other person to do what they say they are going to do ever again and start seeking other solutions, over time, the connection is broken and when couples continues to ignores it and not working to restore the integrity behind each words said, the game will be over.
Yes, when a promise is broken in a marriage or your relationship, you often expect the other to “understand”; you get upset with your better half for not being a considerate partner. Yet, the funny thing is that the same you would not dare to repeatedly breaking your promises at work; the consequence for doing that at work is clear; if you break your promises at work to someone important in the company often enough, you are guarantee to be out of work soon. However, most people often fail to realize that keeping a marriage or a great relationship is no different than keeping your job! If you fail to keep your promises and do what you said you will do often enough, you lose your credibility, your trustworthiness the same way; you may not lose your marriage or your relationship, but you are guarantee to have a rocky marriage or relationship that fill with irritation, distrust, argument and coldness. So, if your marriage or your relationship is really as important to you as your work, why is it OK for you to not be as diligent with you words in your relationship as you do at your work? Think about it, Women maybe from Venus and Men maybe from Mars, but the basis for a great relationship is really no rocket science!