Be Healthier, Wealthier, and Happier

Hi Fred,

It was great catching up with you yesterday.  I am very excited to hear that you are in a reflect-growth cycle of your life. 

Every situation came into our life to provide an opportunity for us to learn something about ourselves and facilitate our growth;life has a funny way of keep repeating it selves until we learn the lesson it is intended.  So, from that perspective there are no victims and all is well.

I considered the following courses in Great Life Foundation and Landmark Education gems; I think they will truly propel you into gaining even deeper clarity of who you really are and how you want your life to turn out. GLF’s courses are priced comparable to Landmark curriculum, but it requires you to fly to Salt lake city, Utah;  Landmark Education’s Wisdom course is a year-long course that open only once a year and it’s pricier.  Both serves great purpose to open very important aspects of your life up and they truly complements each other very well.

Through out the years, I have recommended these courses to many people that I really care.  Most of them choose to honor their “reasons”, staying in their comfort zone, and keep complaining their life don’t work the way they like to.  In some way, I begin to understand that for many people,  living a ”familiar” life is actually more important to them than living a “great” life.  There is nothing wrong with choosing either one; the only misery really comes from one’s lack of clarity of what they really want and live a life pretending they want a great life but in reality they really just want a familiar life.

Anyway, there is a price to be pay for anything in life.  My recommendations will neither be convenient, nor comfortable and it definitely take some time, money and commitment, but if you truly believe that you are worthy of having a great life for the rest of your life, NOTHING should stop you from taking the necessary actions right now to help you get there.   The question is really are you willing to do whatever it takes to create a great life for yourselves? For most of us, this journey starts with discovering: what is a great life look like anyway?!!!   If the answer is yes to whatever it takes, then the choice of what you need to do next should be clear. 

Following is the website to the Great Life Foundation:

www.thegreatlifefoundation.org

I highly recommend their part 1 (Awakening) and part 2 (The Brilliance within); part 3 to me is optional

Following is the website to Landmark Education’s wisdom course:

http://www.landmarkeducation.com/landmark_wisdom_unlimited.jsp

Finally, another course worth a honorable mention is Landmark Eucation’s Self-expression and Leadership course.  This course is especially challenging for all my Chinese friends (including myself) because of our culture and upbringing. But, if you are willing to stick with it and repeat it by coaching it, something truly opens up :-)  So, this would be another course I recommend you get back around taking it after the GLF and Wisdom courses.  But, the GLF course and the Wisdom course are truly important and valuable tools that will help us get deep at healing our self-worth issue and gain clarity within. So, I would highly recommend you take them prompto.

I’m truly excited and really looking forward to seeing your taking yourself to another level in life.  Please let me know when you signed up for these courses, so my fiancé and I can support you.  (My fiancé Robert for GLF courses).

Take Care,

Alice

Below is the link to a wonderful write up about the great insights from Gandhi’s top 10 fundamentals for changing the world.  Incredible wisdom;  definitely worth reading and reminding ourselves to follow Gandhi’s lead to a much more empowered life!  Enjoy the reading!

 http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/05/09/gandhis-top-10-fundamentals-for-changing-the-world/???????????? ??? ????

I got the information below from a friend.  What a great idea!  I thought rather than just using the jestures to show gratitude to those hard working military personnels, why not extending to everyone you meet that you like to say thanks but felt too awkward (especially those that are close to you? ;-))?  Our world can really use some good vibes all around. 
Here it goes:

Have you ever seen one of our military walking past you and wanted to convey free us cellular audiovox ringtones | polyphonic ringtones for sony ericsson | free ringtones sent to your phone | cingular wireless ringtones | free sprint cell phone ringtones | yahoo ringtones free download | download free mobile ringtones virgin | cheap mobile ringtones virgin | download free ringtones to cellular phone | download free ringtones | ericsson polyphonic ringtones sony | free funny voice ringtones | cingular free go phone ringtones | c139 free motorola ringtones | free cingular music ringtones | polyphonic ringtones | cricket ringtones | crazy download free frog ringtones | music real ringtones | cingular download free ringtones | to them your thanks, but weren’t sure how or it felt awkward?Recently, a gentleman from Seattle created a gesture which could be used and has started a massive movement to get the word out. Please everybody take just a moment to watch…. The Gratitude Campaign …and then forward it to your friends!
http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/shortmovie.php

Dear Friends,

I got this e-mail from my buddy in Salt Lake City.  Before this email, I have no clue who Randy Pausch was; fortunately I took his suggestion and watched the ABC Prime Time interview. He is a Carnegie Mellon University computer science Professor who created Electronic Art Center in the University which become the gold standard for all electronic art industry.  You can watch the video below to get details on his bio.  FYI, he is 46 years old I think.

After watching the interview, I realized what make Randy truly special is not just his contribution to the computer science field, but most importantly his perspective on life and how he lives his life.  What an incredible person, what an inspiring story, what a power message and what an enlightened teacher!  Indeed, as my buddy Dave said “There are lessons to be learned for all of us!”  I remember a mentor told me once: “When the student is ready, a teacher will show up to guide the way”.  So are you ready to receive this message, to learn from him and apply what you learned from him in your life RIGHT NOW?  While we may never have a chance to hear his lecture live (because he is dying), thanks to internet, we can still learn from him, spread his messages, and past on his loving legacy.  

For those of you who missed the Prime Time Interview,  I went on the internet and found this link:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/LastLecture/  I hope ABC will maintain this link for a while.

For those of you who want to see the full version of “Last Lecture” (and that’s me for sure) here is the link:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5700431505846055184

PLEASE FIND A QUIET PLACE AND TIME TO WATCH IT AND SHARE IT!  (note: you may need to cut and paste the link onto your browser instead of clicking it directly)

Hint:  If you’ve gone through it and you find yourself said “I already know this, I already know that…”  then you probably “missed” something :-)  Knowing is one thing, getting and living it is another :-)  Knowledge is only an amusement and sometimes be used to brag and stroke our ego, it serves very little.  On the other hand getting it and living it,  wow! that’s powerful!  So, don’t shortchange yourself!

Love,

Alice

From: Dave Kimball

Sent: Wednesday, April 09, 2008 12:37 PM
To: Undisclosed Recipients
Subject: DON’T MISS THIS!!!

To My Friends:

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!!  Whether I have known you for years, or for just a short time, I am so GRATEFUL for the many friends I have!  THANK YOU!!!  Truly, I feel Blessed!  As many of you know, 9 years ago, My Life changed forever!  Since then, I have had a different view of Life!  I have attempted to live My Life differently!  Recently, I learned of a Gentleman named Randy Pausch!  Nothing represents or embodies my view-The way I would like to live, My Life, more than Randy Pausch!  He gave a lecture titled his “Last Lecture”!  Tonight, Wednesday April 9th, Primetime with Diane Sawyer interviews him at 9:00 pm on ABC.  He has such a BEAUTIFUL SOUL!  There are Lessons to be learned for all of us!  I would like to share this with you!  And, I would strongly encourage you to watch this Special!  Don’t miss it!  TIVO or Record, if you need to!  Thank You for being you!!!  LIFE ROCKS!!!  Thank you, for showing up in My Life, with all your Greatness!

Love and Blessings  ~Dave

Do you ever getting into a situation where no matter how careful you tried saying something or how precise you tried to communicate something, the other person seems to always find the “worse” interpretations of what you said and fight you all the way?  Do you feel frustrated?  Do you feel suppressed? Do you feel hopeless and angry at those moments?  (By the way, this can totally go the other ways too. i.e. someone trying to say something to you and the more they said the angrier and defensive you got…)

Yet, in other instances, your communication with another can be quite sloppy; sometimes you didn’t even need to finish your sentences, the other person will get it anyway?

Well, Robert and I had a couple episodes like the first case last month. It seems like the more we want to “communicate” with each other on this particular topic, the more we get angry with each other.  Knowing that we usually communicate and “get” each other so well in so many areas of our relationship, it baffles me that we can totally lose relatedness with each other on this one topic to the point of wondering why we stay together.  Needless to say, there was some drama in the air surrounding our relationship.

Finally, instead of attempting to throw even more communication at each other or tries to “communicate” yet a “different way”, I decided to give each other a “time out”.

In my “time out” period,  I sat back, playing back in my head what I said to Robert and what he said to me, he’s reactions to what I said and my reactions to what he said; like watching a video recording, I paused, rewind and slowed down frame-by-frame many times.  I asked myself: How exactly did the conversation went so badly? 

Surprisingly, an answer came into my head like a switch: “You are solving the wrong problem!  It’s a trust issue and not a communication issue, girl!  Communicating with each other is not your problem!”

Duh!  Of course, on this particular case, due to my past reactions to what he told me, Robert didn’t trust that I would support him and based on his past actions (or inactions), I didn’t trust that he would do what he said he is going to do!  So how can we really come to an understanding that give both of us comfort and assurances that we need, when we don’t trust each other?  The answer is no way!  Regardless how much we communicate with each other and how refined our communication techniques were, it would have made no difference!

Fortunately, proper awareness of what is the real issue is indeed the first step needed to start restoring our harmony.  From there, instead of jump into yet another communication session on “the topic”, we took the time to acknowledge our fears, our distrust and where we lost each other’s trust.  From there we discuss how we can both improve in gaining each other’s trust.   

Life is good again, I’m grateful to have gone through this experience and get that when something is not working, more communication or better communication may not be the solution.  When communication fails, it is time to step back and check whether or not trusting is the real issue. Without trust, no communication; regardless how fine the technique you use, will ever get through to another person.  So, let’s work on trust first.

p.s. On the topic of trust, I recently found a wonderful book that really helped me get a lot of clarity on this topic.  It is called “The Speed of Trust” by Stephen M. R. Covey (He is the son of Stephen R. Covey, the author of 7 habits of highly effective people).  I highly recommend this book as a resource to start tackling on any trust issues and start opening a constructive dialog on trust with people you run into issue with.

I can no longer imagine a life without Thanksgiving.  It seems like this is the one day that still reminds us to be grateful, to be appreciative of what has been given to us and to encourage the spirit of sharing; no huge religious connotation; just a pure human-to-human love and appreciation.  I love this holiday more than any other holiday I can think of.  This is the holiday that gets my heart pumping looking forward to meeting my relatives and getting a wild feast.  It reminds me to appreciate the life that I got (the whole package the good, bad and ugly), and be grateful that I am surround by people who have a lot of love for me.   I have to admit that it didn’t use to be that way.

When I was in “survival” mode, I could of careless about Thanksgiving.  Every time when I thought of my relatives, it reminded me of what they didn’t do for me and what wrong they have done on me.  Who want to spend holiday with them anyway.   I used to attend family get together out of obligation.  The thought of it was painful!

So, what changed me?  I guess through out my years of personal development, I finally figure out what forgiveness is all about.  THAT was a hard one for me to learn.   I was a stubborn one and not the fastest learner J  yet when there is will there is way, 20 years later and I lost count of how many personal development courses I took later, my light bulb on this finally came on.   I finally let go of my hate.  Whatever the hate and grudge I hold on to, from 2 year old to 10 year old to 40 year old… I let go! I let go for my sake and not for anyone else’s sake; like a ton of bricks that I finally given myself the permission to throw away.   Surprisingly, compassion flew in and forgiveness followed.  All there left is the gratefulness of being alive and new awareness that people are really NOT that bad; just given them the space to be who they are and make peace with myself to give myself space to be who I am.  I didn’t quite expect that at all.  My focus was all about realizing how continue carrying these dead weights in my heart really started to bother me; it didn’t serve any purpose for me other than making me more tired; it hurt me more than anything.  I couldn’t stand having them around anymore!  So, I let go!  What a surprise!

Do you know, if you are making more than $30K a year and have a roof over your head, you are no longer surviving?  Do you know over 90% of world population actually make less than $30K U.S. dollars a year?  Do you know that if given a chance, 90% of world population would be willing to switch their life for yours in a heart beat? So what are you still whining about?

To be honest, I didn’t know the above statistics and I whined and woke up everyday dreading the notion of needing to “fight” for my survival another day just like every one of you, until one day a mentor knocked the statistics into my thick skull and woke me up! (Thank god she did that!)

I realized all these time I have been fighting the wrong issue in my life.   I thought I need to do whatever it takes to survive and stay alive, but in fact I have blew past the survival stage long long time ago.  (OK, using the $30K example, I’ll probably say that I past the survival stage 2 years after I got out of school and started working full time).  I realized the problem isn’t whether I’ll survive or not (I already did, I am capable of surviving; it is a well proven fact; proven over and over again everyday), the problem is really the quality of life that I want issue.

It’s amazing that when I re-quantified the problem that I am spending my whole life solving, it gave me a new perspective, a lot of confidence and endless new possibilities.  Whew, the pressure of whether I’ll “survive” financially or not disappeared.  I am beginning to ask myself different questions.  For example:  “hum, so I’m actually already surviving really well, so what kind of quality of life was I really looking for?”  Yeah, I want to live in a mansion, I want to travel around the world,  I want to wear top brand clothing,….  But wait, is my current living that bad now? (Not really, I’m sure 90% of world population would switch their housing situation with me in a heart beat), can I stand traveling all year long and not sleeping in my own bed? (Not really).  Alright those top brand clothing, a few would be nice but actually it would be quite a burden to have to keep up with them just to keep up with the Jones… I see everything that I thought I MUST have for survival is really optional items; some worth my time and money to go after and some really didn’t.  Most importantly, NOTHING is worth pushing me below poverty line over it because they are ALL optional and they have nothing to do with my survival.  Well, I might not live like Paris Hilton or eating fillet migeon every day, hey but I am actually happy and I have many more options than I ever thought I have.  

The truth is that now I can go after what I really want with even more passion because it is no longer about surviving but to stretch myself to reach for my moon.  How cool is that?!

So how about you?  Are you really still surviving?  Maybe it’s time for you to start re-quantify your problem too! It’s amazing that sometimes this is really all it takes to solve a life issue; nothing more.

In this busy and busting world where survival seems like everyday focus, we seem to forget that kindness do exist in this world and there are people out there who wake up and choose to do something nice for anyone and everyone everyday. 

I have no clue how numb I have become to my surrounding until one day I came home and saw an Asian old man sweeping the front of my drive way; it has lot of fallen leaves on it.  I was confused for a moment, trying to remember whether this was the day that my gardener was suppose to show up but he didn’t look like my gardener (who happens to also be an Asian).  Then I realized this was the same gentleman who I saw was sweeping my neighbor (a Caucasian family) across street’s driveway a couple weeks ago.  Since I have been traveling for business in the past couple months, I remembered I thought to myself last time I saw him thinking “wow, I didn’t know my neighbor had sold their house while I was gone!”  But then I thought, “Why is he sweeping my driveway then?”  

Since my driveway was a mess and I was so grateful that he had swept it clean for me, I decided to walk over and thank him anyway.  As I was approaching him, an unknown fear and hesitation came over me, but I stuck to my gun and yelled out for him as he walked back toward his own house.  I greeted him in English but he doesn’t seem to speak English, he started replied to me in Chinese and Taiwanese.  Fortunately, I knew both, so naturally I responded back to him in both Chinese and Taiwanese.  He was surprised, but happy that I can speak his language.  I thanked him profusely with a bit of embarrassment as to how I had let the leaves go in front of my house.  He told me don’t worry about it, he is actually visiting his son and he is seeking opportunity to exercise.  He saw all those fallen leaves and decided that this is his opportunity to get the exercise he want and gather all the fallen leaves together in time for the scheduled lawn pickup for the street.  

I chatted with this sweet happy gentleman for a while.  I found out that his name is Mr. Lee.  His son has been living across from me for over 10 years; they are from a different town in Taiwan where I was born; he and his wife are here visiting the grandkids; it will be a short visit because he can’t get used to American living…  It’s amazing that I have also been in this neighborhood for over 10 years, but yet I have never knew this family; I have not even talk to anyone in this family until now.  I had no clue how indifferent I have become until this gentleman woke me up.  Without his simple kindness, I probably would have live here another 10 years without even thought of reaching my hands out to my neighbors. 

I was very grateful for the lesson Mr. Lee taught me.  I brought some cookies and stopped by Mr. Lee’s house to formally thank him.  He was not home.  I got to visit with his son for the first time and told him his dad’s kindness.  His son was just as amazed at what his dad did as I was.  We got to stop and connect as neighbor for the first time.

Mr. Lee’s amazing kindness just continues to fill my heart. While he is still around, he seems very determined to keep our street cleaned.  The next morning, I found him not only swept the sidewalk in front of my house, he actually swept the leaves out of my whole front yard!  Then the next week, I found him continued working his way down the street; covering and sweeping even more houses.  Now, not only my house, but my neighbor’s house (an Indian family) and my neighbor’s neighbor’ house (a Caucasian family)…  What a loving sweet old man!!!